Monday, June 23, 2014

Jobless Revisited

Having just received my gazillionth rejection from a job I applied for, I'm feeling like a big fucking loser.  I hate feeling that way.  I hate a "woe is me" attitude.  I hate feeling sorry for myself.  But it's so hard not to when I've been looking for 2 years.  Two years, no job, over 20 years of experience.   What is the problem?  Why will no one hire me?  What is it about my resume or me in general, that is off putting?  I don't know.  I had my resume analyzed and got a pretty good affective rating.  So what's going on?  The economy is supposedly improving.

I feel like I am very professional on the phone and in interviews, when I have them.  Am I too old at 48 to be hired?   Do I have too much experience, therefore leading prospective employers to assume I will want too much money?  Or am I totally fooling myself into believing that I have marketable skills at all?  I really don't have the answers.

This most recent rejection really hurt.  I applied to it and two days later received an email with a test in it.  There was an editing test (it was a few paragraphs describing the business that needed grammar, spelling, punctuation etc. corrections) and a composition test (a lot of information in no format and asked to compose a business letter out of it).  I received this test early in the afternoon on the Friday before Memorial Day and asked to return the test completed within 24 hours.   Quite frankly I thought this bullshit mainly because I really doubt anyone would be looking at it before Tuesday of the next week.  But I did it.  I sat down and very carefully completed the tasks they asked of me and sent it back before end of business on that same day.

Not only did I not get the job, I never even got a call for an interview.  Nothing.  I completed their stupid convoluted task and they didn't even bring me in for an interview.  I didn't send it in blind either.  I had the man look over everything I did before sending it.  I received zero feedback on what they thought of the way I completed these tasks.  I received nothing at all but a brief note that said the company hired someone this past Friday and thanks for your interest.

When things like this happen, this is how I feel...

I try very hard to get to the "everything happens for a reason" place.  To that "when one door closes, another opens" place.  To remember that I'm smart, skilled and that any prospective employer should be thrilled to have me in their employ.  But sometimes, even if it's for a few hours or a few minutes, I just have to wallow in the idea that I may never work again and that is unacceptable.  I have a very strong desire to change several aspects of my life and I cannot do that without a job.  So as much as I'd like to, at this moment, give up and come to terms with joblessness forevermore, I won't.  I can't.  The rest of my life is waiting.


  1. I don't have any job advice to give, but I wanted you to know that I read this piece and just want to give you all the encouraging energy I could. I know you're doing all you can and don't need any further 'words of wisdom'. You already know all that. I just thought / was reminded of the fact that based on your FB posts, I know that you love food and are very very good in the kitchen. Please don't hate me for saying this, but have you tried going that route? (Please don't think I'm insulting you by asking that question....I'm really just wondering, and do pray that things get better SOON!) xoxo

    1. I had a catering business for a few years (had to stop because it was just too hard to do by myself) and I still make candy or baked goods for regular customers. But that part of the business is only ever really successful during holiday times and I don't have the money to expand it out of my house. Of course I don't hate you for making a suggestion! hah

  2. Well, Kathy, it seems to me that you are doing all the right things. I can only talk about my own experience, and tell you that I discovered a couple of years ago that I wasn't cut out for the Corporate BS. Setting up my own business was the way forward for me. It seems to me that the workplace doesn't like strong-minded women. Well, their loss, not mine.

  3. Go Ive been 'unemployed' for 2 months and I kinda know how you feel. Apparently Im overqualified...or not qualified...cause Im overqualified. So I'm being told to dumb myself down on paper and in person. Its insulting! So if I multiply how Im feeling by 2 years, then I can only imagine for you are feeling :( Big hugs.

  4. Sometimes job openings are acutally already filled before they even open it up for applicants. Which is such bullshit. But it happens with frequency. Maybe this is one of those "there never really was a job kind of job things".