That's a bit of a digress from where I was going with this entry, but hey don't hate me because I digress! lol As I was saying, I was out for drinks with an old friend and there was a lot of discussion about what I want in life. And I didn't have a solid answer. Maybe because I'm at a standstill. I can't go up, I can't go down. I have nowhere to go at the moment. I have no job and that limits any kind of plan I can ever make for a future. But since that day, I have been thinking about that question over and over and over. "What is it that you want?"
This is what I've come up with. I want joy. I want a life lived. I want more than getting by week after week and doing the same things. I want to be happy. I want good sex. I want to create great dishes and eat fine food. I want to laugh and laugh and then laugh some more. I want to listen to great music. I want to take pride in what I'm doing for a living and not just exist in a job. I want to travel and see things I've never seen. I want more great tattoos. I want to give love and get love in return.
Maybe thats a big order to fill, but I don't think it's impossible. Time probably isn't on my side unfortunately. I am 48 years old. Is it too late to live the life I want and think I deserve? Is it too late to start living for me and not everyone else?