Monday, August 29, 2011

Take Your Misery Somewhere Else

I've known and still know people who seem to live in misery.  Everything is horrible.  They constantly bitch. Nothing good ever happens.  There are no laughs.  It's just a long life of nothing but drudgery.  Why live that way?  Granted I have my moments, but in general I have a lot of joy.

Take my in laws for example, mother in law and sister in law.  Two peas in a pod they are.  They live in misery, and by that I mean that they truly seem to hate their lives, everyone around them, and everything they do.  Mother in law is the worst.  She is never happy.  She constantly, and I do mean constantly, bitches at father in law.  If he said the sky was blue, she would argue with him that it's green just to argue.  Does that sound like I'm exaggerating the issue?  Because I'm not.  She hates him.  And her misery at never having left, never having changed her life, never doing a damn thing about it, filters over onto everyone.  She is mean and hateful, as I've written about here.  And the funny thing is, I always noticed it.  I've known this family since 1987 and I noticed it immediately, but no one else did.  Or they were immune to it.  When I asked the man what was up with his parents way back in those early days, he didn't know what I was talking about.  It never dawned on him that it was a little odd that his parents had separate bedrooms.   Now I know people have separate bedrooms for a variety of reasons, not the least of which are snoring problems, but this was not for any other reason than their relationship was over.  And it's been over.  And yet they stay together I guess because neither knows what else to do.  It's sad.  An existence that is merely that, an existence.  No laughs, no love, no sex, no conversations that aren't arguments.  Who would want to live like that?

Which brings me to sister in law.  She who had a front row seat to this behavior and has adopted it for herself. She barks at her husband every chance she gets, which is whenever they speak.  Very often I've wondered why things like that aren't kept private.  I mean if you want to bitch out your husband, does it have to be at a family function?  Can we not have our 5 fucking 30 cake in peace without all this drama because he doesn't hold the fucking fork the way you do?

Like I said, I've had my moments.  But I could write a blog like the one previous to this one, which was introspective, kind of sad and depressing, and then the minute I hit post something could happen that will make me laugh, a real laugh.  Not a polite one.  It could be something someone says, something I read, or most likely something stupid that I do myself.  And most of that sour mood will vanish.  It won't make the issue go away, but it will lift the mood.  And then I'm back.  I'm back to being the same 45 year old purple haired, tattooed horn dog who can't seem to get enough sex, enough laughs, enough music, enough love, and enough of life to suit me.  I don't ever want to be one of these miserable people.  I want to experience everything.  I want to cook the greatest meal.   I want to fuck my brains out.  I want to see the best live music.  I want to have a lifetime of joy and laughter.  And no one will stop me from having it.


  1. *Raises glass* To a lifetime of joy and laughter - life really is to short to constamtly bitch! Well said!

  2. OMG! Can't see you, so bubbling over with life, fitting in with those two sourpusses. Whenever I see married couples like them, I think the same as you. Why the hell do they stay together to make each other's life (and everyone else's) a misery? Feel sorry for your man with parents like that and even more, for that sister who couldn't escape their legacy.

    My mother was a half-empty glass person - always bitching and complaining. She made everyone's life a misery from the time she was born - unfortunately premature - though she did have a few saving graces. Sad to say, when she died, both me and my sister felt that a load had been lifted off us.

  3. I love this post. Some people surely enjoy being miserable. For some reason I could see lots of similarities between my in-laws and yours. Cheers to enjoying life and making the most of it!

  4. You have one life. One. (Well I do hope to be reincarnated as a giraffe, but...) To spend that life that miserable makes no sense to me. But then I am not in that position. I have come to believe after years of watching such people, that people often stick with what they know, because it is a known factor. And the fear of the unknown is what keeps them from moving. Fear.

    Great post girl!
    ~cath xo

  5. Here's to fucking your brains out!! Wait.that came out wrong...or did it? ;)

    Yeah, my parents were like that, not all the time, but enough to drive me nuts.

  6. It's definitely a sad, sad existence you describe. Here in Peru, this is pretty common. It's probably also why, unfortunately, domestic abuse is also common. =( I guess that's why many NGOs focus on empowerment. That's what we need to feel confident in making decisions that are best for us in our lives.

    Glad you're not like this at all and loved how you ended the post, Lalia. =)

  7. Your post brings one particular sister-in- law to mind. There have been several tragic circumstances in her life. Her mother died when she was a teenager, her brother committed suicide, her husband became alcholic and she got cancer. I wonder if it is these events that have made her so negative and impossible to get along with or if she had a negative personality and because of this her inability to cope with life's circumstances were the root of her cancer and her husbands alcoholism.
    In spite of years trying to be understanding, I eventually got to the stage of steering clear. Life is too short to be constantly negative,of having to analyze what I say before I say it and still getting it wrong and coming away totally depressed.
    You have the right idea in my opinion, be yourself and live life to it's fullest.