Thursday, January 20, 2011
To Richard, With Love
I think generally, guys are more honest. Of course, this isn't always the case. There are no absolutes in such things. But the guys I know well, that know me well, that I can confide in, I know they are honest. It's something I value very much. I'm not saying my female friends are dishonest, not at all. But sometimes if you ask a girlfriend a question, she will kind of dance around the absolute honesty to spare some feelings that might get hurt. But if I ask a guy friend the same question, there is no dance, he'll go straight to the "that's a great idea" or "stop being such a fucking idiot" reply. For me, no one embodies this more than my friend Richard.
When I'm sad, he makes me laugh. When I'm upset, he has encouraging words and good advice. When I'm bitchy, he calls me on it. When I'm being stupid, he tells me so. When I do something or write something good, he's encouraging and complimentary. He's my go to guy for anything and everything. He makes me laugh. He makes me hot. He's so fucking smart. He has great taste in music. He's sexy as hell. He's got the coolest job of anyone I know. He has been my friend for about 23 years.
I know exactly the moment I knew he would be my friend forever. We'd been friends for a couple years. Not tight, but hanging around in the same circle. There was probably some mild flirting going on because Richard can't not flirt, but nothing major. It was sometime in 1990, and we were at Stiv Bators memorial service at the Babylon A Go Go, a bar/club in Cleveland. It was so fucking hot in there and the place was packed. I went outside to get some air, and so did he. I can't remember if we went out together or if we just happened to go outside at the same time. But there we both were, trying to cool off, sitting on the ground against the building, people watching. And a funny thing happened, we both started spotting "celebrities." Not real ones, even though there were some real ones there. It was just a strange synchronicity that we picked up on and spent much much longer outside than we probably should have laughing and pointing out... "hey look, it's Pat Benatar" "check it out, here comes Ally Sheedy" "no way, there's Nick Lowe" "oh my God, is that Andre the Giant?" and we'd laugh and laugh, because of course, none of them were the real person. They were just someone who kind of, in our minds anyway, slightly resembled that particular celeb. It became our thing for many years. And it was always fucking funny. I remember once calling him up and leaving a message on his answering machine saying, "you'll never guess who I saw driving a bus in Cleveland today... Ice T!" and he left me one saying, "Guess what? I just saw George Bush driving down Carnegie!" It was just one of the goofy bonds we shared for a lot years. And sometimes still do. It's that kooky sense of humor that we share.
This is my love letter to one of my best friends. Thank you for always being there for me. Thanks for telling me like it is. Thanks for always making me feel good especially when I'm feeling my lowest. You make my world a better place. I love you xoxo