Sunday, August 15, 2010

Oranges, My Nemesis.

I hate oranges.  Hate them with a white hot passion.  I hate the smell.  I hate the taste.  I hate the zest.  I hate the juice.  Oranges are evil, pure unadulterated evil.  When I had a desk job, my boss loved to eat oranges every day.  She would peel and peel, slowly making me more woozy as that stench wafted from her office to mine. 

The trail to my orange hate was paved by my mother.  I didn't always hate them.  Hell, when I was a kid I pretended to be sick so I could munch on St. Joseph's Aspirin for kids.... those chalky orange flavored chewable tablets.  *shudder*

But then real sickness came upon me.  Nothing serious, but back in the 70's if you were a high strung kid they didn't really know what to call it or do for you other than to say, "snap the fuck out of it!"  Somehow, my mom was able to get some kind of vile tasting medicine for me from the doctor.  I have no clue what it was for, I was just a kid who was scared of my own shadow and meek as a kitten (um yeah, I grew out of it, obviously).  All I know is it tasted like shit.  So my mom, thinking she was masking the horrid flavor of the medicine, started to hide it in my morning juice.  That was probably the worst idea ever.  It went on and on, daily I had to swallow that dreck for what could have been weeks, months or years for all I remember now.  It absolutely ruined me for ever drinking orange juice again.  I've tried, and whenever I do I'm taken right back to my childhood and that mediciney taste.

So keep your fucking Dreamsicles to yourself.  I don't want any vile Orange Cream Pop Tarts.  No thanks on the punch with globs of horror (orange sherbet) floating in it.  And keep your fucking orange out of my chocolate!

15 comments:

  1. I LOVE that picture you posted! And I can understand your 'relationship' with oranges, just as I have a 'distinct relationship' (trying to be diplomatic) with honey. Like you, it's thanks to my Mom. She would mix in some honey in our hot chocolate in the mornings before going to school and I absolutely did NOT dig the taste....eek! But I admit I am more open to honey now than when I was in elementary school.

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  2. It is amazing how we sometimes never forget some tastes during our childhood...I totally understand your relationship with oranges ! Lol!

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  3. Pavlov would call it classical conditioning - conditioned taste aversion.

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  4. I had that with something that was put into Ginger Ale. I used to LOVE Ginger Ale. Now? Don't let me smell it. blech

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  5. What about mandarins? Can you eat mandarins? It's not too hard to give up oranges anyway, they get all stringy and everything in your teeth.

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  6. Oh Like Thom I was going to mention Classical Conditioning but then we have more than one psychologist here and he is the expert!

    I love oranges; maybe because living in a hot region makes you like anything zesty! But then the mediciny taste just destroyed it for you!

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  7. Josie, an orange my any other name is still the same! =)

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  8. Funny, funny post - but what could I expect from you? An aversion to oranges, no less. Great photo.Illustrates problem. I have the same taste aversion to strawberries. Can't even look at them without feeling disgust.

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  9. I just love those little oranges ha ha
    Isnt it amazing what as mothers we do to our children. I'm racking my brains thinking - oh yes my kids have said a few things!!!

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  10. Hi Lalia -
    Hmmm no fruit basket for you this Christmas, lol. At least one with oranges in it. I'm taking a stab in the dark here, but you probably never wear anything orange either, huh. LOL. :)

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  11. You're correct Charlie, I never ever wear orange. Not only do I not like it, but it clashes with my hair LMAO

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  12. Ha, interesting! I wonder if you were to try to associate oranges with something pleasant, could you turn the aversion around? Or why bother ...

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  13. HAHA! Hilarious! This reminds me why I hate cherries -- the whole medicine taste of it all. And that photo is classic! Did you make those orange pumpkins? =P

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  14. I didn't make them Samantha, it was just dumb luck that I found the perfect pic, kind how I found the perfect pic for this blog too LOL

    http://skankrattleandroll.blogspot.com/2011/05/embracing-third-d.html

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  15. Awesome way to start your blog. I can just picture your boss slowly unpeeling the oranges from hell!

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