Thursday, March 22, 2012

How Not to Win in Advertising

I'm sure I'm not the only one to have noticed all the crapola in advertising these days.  Now, I'm no expert on what it takes to make a successful ad campaign but sometimes I really think the pitchman and the boss who OK'd some of these ads should be fired immediately and urged to find a new line of work.   Here are my top 3 that should be removed from the airwaves forever, wiped from our brains by any means necessary and never spoken of again.


Doody humor, seriously not the way to win my biz.  Then again, I don't have kids so maybe this appeals to people who do.  I can't imagine it does, but what the fuck do I know?  And can you seriously ever hear that song again and not think "Poop!  There it is!"


It's the creepy bears who live in the woods and wipe their asses so much that they have toilet paper stuck to them all the time.  You know, if you bears used Charmin that wouldn't happen.  Then again, if bears who lived in the woods used Charmin after every shit there would be much bigger landfill problem than we have now.  Wooded areas would be overrun with toilet paper.  Birds would be making nests out of it, beavers would be making dams out of it, the three little pigs would be making houses out of it.  And even worse than all this is the tag line... Enjoy the go.  Who thinks up this shit!

And the #1 most heinous of all ads....

Have a happy period.  It's so heinous I have to say it again... have a happy period.  There is no doubt in my mind that this annoying piece of nonsense was created by a man.  And whoever his is, I'd like to hang him by his balls with a tampon string while utter phrases like, "have a pleasant vasectomy" and "have an enjoyable kick in the nuts" and "hope your prostate exam rocks!"



  2. I wish we could return to the days when it was bad taste to mention toilet products or feminine hygiene products in an ad. The only way we found out was from mom.

    The days when everyone thought cigarettes were good for them. :D

  3. I cannot tell you how many times I have bitched on my profile page on how much I hate those fucking Charmin bears... They're so damn smug! Nothing worse than a smug bear. Reminds me of the old joke: Bear and rabbit shitting in the woods. Bear asks rabbit do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur? Rabbit says no. So bear wipes his ass on the rabbit. I wish there were more rabbits in the Charmin commercials. And the poopy diaper commmercials... REALLY??? Anyone who has a baby deals with enough poop already; doesn't need to see it on TV. I have to admit that sometimes when I'm walking on the beach with my mother during sunset I tell her I don't feel so fresh. LOL! You should see my brothers act out that commercial, it's priceless :-) Thumbs all the way with you on this one Lalia!

    1. Judy that is freakin hysterical!!! Walking through a park or on the beach with your mom does lend it to that though doesn't it ? LOL

  4. I'm waiting for my period and it's friday....this is going to be the best happy hour of all time. ALWAYS!

  5. Wait..aren't periods good to have? That way you know the sentence is finished. I'm so confused. ;)

  6. OMFG. Must've been made by a man - a happy period. Seriously...

    I need to dig out the Australian beaver add for you guys...after I leave it to your imagine for just a bit...

  7. Here's the ad -

    And I am really disturbed by those pooping babies...

  8. OMG!! I can say as a parent (and grandparent) that I openly cringe everytime that stupid Luvs commercial comes on! The bears have always gotten on my last nerve.

    And NO woman has ever had a damn happy period. NONE!! Ever!! I would like very much to find the genius that came up with that one and shove an Always Overnight right down his throat. And yes, I am sure it is HIS throat.

  9. LOL! And the three you hate all pertain to 'bathroom business' so to speak. But you're right. There's a lot of crazy, stupid ads out there. Kudos to you for being able to zero in on 3! I wouldn't have known where to even begin.