Friday, June 24, 2011

Sold

My Grandma's house sold this week.  I've had a hard time wrapping my hairdo around how I feel about that. On the one hand, it needed to sell.  Grandma's been gone for coming on three years now and with no one living there, it was just sucking money.  On the other hand, it's a part of our family history and it's sad to let it go.

Christmas at Grandma's was something to behold.  This little woman, and I only mean that literally, because to me she was larger than life, did tremendous things in that basement kitchen.  Like most old world Italians, a second kitchen in the basement was a must. Her house was small but she managed to fit about 30 of us at a long table on the other side of the basement, for Christmas dinner (and also for Easter brunch).  And once you were in your seat, don't even think about getting up.  You were there for the duration of the meal.  And what a meal!   Is there anything better than Grandma's food?  I honestly don't think there is.  And Christmas was the crowning glory.  She made everything from scratch... sausage, sauce, cavatelli, meatballs, bread.  My mouth waters just thinking about it.

She would start at least a month in advance making the cavatelli by hand and then freezing them.  She made over 30 pounds, usually by herself.  That's a lot of cavatelli.  But she would never ever not have enough.  It would be a disgrace to not have enough food for your guests.  And believe me, she never ever ran out of food.  She also made pounds and pounds of her own pork sausage, meatballs, and loaves of bread.  Everything was perfect and delicious.  Funny thing, she hated ground beef.  Absolutely hated it.  She always said it went back to the days of the Depression when ground beef was the only meat they could get.  Once things got better she never ate ground beef again.  But she had to make sure the meatballs were good so she would try a little piece of the raw meat after she seasoned it to make sure it was good and seasoned properly.  She also made veal cutlets when times were good, pork cutlets when times were a little harder.

The table is already set and has been for about a month.  So come in and take your seat.  Just turn your plate over since it's upside down, she didn't want dust in her food and setting the table that far in advance that was a possibility.  Pass your bowl down and she will give you a handful of salad.  Yes, literally a handful.  Don't worry, she's clean.  And the salad is as perfect as everything else, dressed simply with olive oil and red wine vinegar, some salt and pepper and dried basil and oregano.

The main event is coming and everyone is buzzing with anticipation.  The room is loud with all the conversations going.  But we can't wait to sink our teeth into those succulent pillows of flavor.  The sauce had been cooking all day and the aroma in the house is intoxicating.  I could drink her sauce by the glass, it's so good.  And suddenly my uncle gets up and pulls out a chair and turns it around.  Then he goes out into the kitchen and returns with a huge restaurant size pan of piping hot cavatelli with just the perfect amount of sauce on it and sets it on the chair.  Grandma appears then, apron still on and small sauce pan in hand.  And one by one we send our dishes down to her and she scoops that little pan into the cavatelli and pours it on each plate.  They are then sent back around the table until everyone has some.

Grandma disappears back into the kitchen with my mom and uncle and they come out with bowls and bowls of sausage, meatballs, neckbones, pigsfeet and those veal or pork cutlets and set them in different parts of the long table.  Back to the kitchen to get bowls of extra sauce in case anyone wants some, baskets of fresh from the oven bread and bowls of grated Parmesan.  Everyone passes bowls around, takes what they want and when we are finally all seated and have our food, the youngest family member is asked to say grace.  And then, finally we eat!   The loud raucous conversations die out completely because everyone is too busy basking in the joy of this meal we have once a year.  Wine is pouring freely into the glasses and everyone is full of the joy of being together and eating.

Once everyone has had their fill and then some, it's pretty much a given everyone will over indulge, Grandma, who has barely eaten because she is so consumed with everyone else eating, goes back into the kitchen and comes out with a big platter of raw vegetables.  Carrots, radishes, celery and of course, finocchio (or fennel).  It's an important part of the meal, having that finocchio, a digestive.  Especially back in the days when I was a small child.  Back then, after this feast I just described and then after the veggies, Grandma would then come out with a full roasted capon, potatoes, and roasted vegetables.  Hardly anyone ever ate the second meal after having the huge pasta feast so eventually she stopped making it. 

It's memories like this that make me know I will forever miss that house, like I miss her.  She was my heart.  Losing her was the most awful thing ever even though I knew she wasn't going to live forever.  She was 99 when she left this earth, 3 weeks before her 100th birthday.  A beautiful soul that I was so lucky to have in my life as long as I did.  Even though it feels like it was not enough.

She's gone and when the house closes it will be gone too.  And it will be final, really really final.  And all at once it makes me so very sad and yet, it makes me glad too.  Because not all the memories in that house are happy ones.  But that is another story for another day.  Today I want to remember how much I loved her, always, how much I miss her, how much I loved her cooking and any time I could be around her.

18 comments:

  1. Lalia... thank you for sharing your memories. As I read this, my own surfaced like a layer superimposed on the images you evoked. We were lucky to have such special grandmas. A house is just a house. The memories are stored in your head, not in the house. But if you want to see my grandma's old house on Google satellite view - no, no, no. It's just a house. But I can smell the cooking in every line, and I can see your grandma here as clearly as if she were standing here and you were introducing us at Christmas.

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  2. A beautiful post Lalia, I can just picture the joy and delight of your Christmas scenes. Thank you for sharing :)

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  3. What lovely memories you have Lalia of your grandmother, her cooking, her love and her home. Such treasures to keep with you always.
    Thanks for sharing your heart x

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  4. This brought back memories of my own family Christmas'. Thanks for sharing and I do hope someone in your family has taken up the tradition since your Grandma has passed. x

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  5. Awwww this bought back memories of my Nan. She passed last year and it was like loosing a piece of myself. She was my heart. I kinda know how you feel, although we didn't have to sell her house as my Uncle was living with her - and still continues to be there. In saying that, I realise I haven't been there since she passed - which is over a year. Maybe deep down I don't want to as the last memory was holding her hand as she passed. I should go back there.

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  6. I guess this is one of those "passages" we all traverse - difficult and inevitable, but hopefully we come though it a better person. Looking forward to some of your stories,

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  7. Thank so much everyone. I'm glad I was able to bring out your own memories too. @Lucy, yes my mother took over the tradition but it's scaled down to just my immediate family. When mom doesn't want to do it anymore, I will pick it up.

    @Janine, for awhile the man and I lived at my Grandparents house on the other side of the family. When they both passed it was very hard for other family members to come over too.

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  8. Beautiful post, Lalia. I never really had that kind of big family tradition as we tended to be scattered all around the country. Thanks for letting me live it once with you in this post. Sounds like it's time to start a "new" tradition!

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  9. This such a beautiful post, Lalia. My grandmother has been gone for many years, but like yours, she was a cornerstone for the family and the host of many holiday feasts. The house may be sold but no one can take the good memories from you.

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  10. I loved reading this look into your life. My grandmother is still around, but I can tell she's just not up to the same things anymore. She has always considered herself to be the matriarch of the family; her home has always been the central spot where the family gathered. I don't know any of us who have a desire to live in that house or that town after she's gone, so I'm certain it will be sold too, along with all the stuff she's accumulated over the years. She has a hard time letting things go; I have a feeling it will be the same for us when she is gone.

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  11. What a wonderful, evocative description of a great meal. Memories like these will keep you company throughout your life. Your Grandma and her cooking and her feasts will live on for you and through you so that future generations will hear and read about her and them.

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  12. You made me hungry, but most importantly, you made me remember my Grandma. She is in her late 80's and suffering from severe dementia. Like your Grandma, mine is magical too and probably the best 'chef' I'll know! I will always remember the dishes, esp. the desserts she made for us and it was always a feast! I know for sure I will feel just as heartbroken when the time comes for our family to sell her home in the Philippines. I grew up spending a lot of summer vacations there and those will always be treasured memories that have come to define me. Thank you and hugs to you, Lalia....

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  13. Hi Lalia -

    OMgoodness I love your grandma and family. I seriously need to eat at the monster meal table. I would be in heaven there. ALL that food sounds so so so so FABULOUS (can u see I am typing fast now haha). I have always wanted to eat a big, homemade Italian family meal like that.

    My family did much in the same but Irish/German ways. However, we had a few tables set up and never had the monster table thing going on. Also, so much food that I often had 3-4 dinners in a couple of hours. If 25 people were expected, my mom cooked for 50. Mom always knew I am a sucker for leftovers, lol. GREAT Post! :)

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  14. This is such a touching tribute to your grandmother, her food and her home, Lalia! My great grandma lived to be 99 years old as well, so I share your sentiments on feeling lucky, but at the same time melancholy about the loss. I'm so glad you have these beautiful memories of here, that will live long past this selling of her home. Hugs!

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  15. So beautiful, so lovely a tribute --

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  16. This was a lovely walk through your memories, Lalia! My Mom's side of our family is similar in approach; my Mom is one of 9 siblings, so we're a huge, Irish clan. Holidays are always like your description, only with southern comfort foods instead of the Italian dishes you described. We are approaching our big yearly family reunion this weekend and I am so excited! Tons of laughter, hugs, good food and time spent with the people I love the most. I enjoyed learning of your own family dynamic. It is what makes you the special person you are as an adult and it sounds to be an incredibly loving foundation. :)

    Namaste',

    Dawn

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  17. I like this story. But now I have to go hunt down a recipe for cavatelli. When I read the blog title I thought it was gonna be about Ray Charles or Ella Fitzagerald. That's what popped into my head. Turns out it's a nice tribute. I never met any of my grandparents. They had all passed on before I was born. I always felt like my life was missing something. After reading your post I know I missed out on something special. Grandparents. Hey! That's life!

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  18. Your Grandma would be proud of you G.

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