Saturday, February 5, 2011

Stupidest. Question. Ever.

I get asked a lot of dumb questions as a webmistress for a soap opera site.  Seriously dumb questions.  But this one, this one was so incredibly stupid that I kept it because I knew someday I would have to relay it.  It's the absolute truth, this truly happened back in April of 2003.

A new poster came to my message board and this was the first and last post they made.  It was so serious.  The poster was truly troubled by this dilemma (typos are hers, I kept them intact) 

One question about last night's episode.
The scenes at BJ's Laurie and Joni were at the bar and Jack and Opal were having a chat at his table.
First sixth: scene starts with Laurie and Joni berating the fact that Jamie brought home a hooker  and Holly was right in back of them interupting there little talk to them, freeze then cut to Jack and Opal's talk.  You can clearly see the back of Holly when the camera was on Jack.
The next sixth came up and first of all, I think Opal and Jack switched seats then they switched over to Laurie and Joni getting all weird as they realize that Holly heard them and their little argument ensued.
My problem is that it should have been jack, opal - then laurie joni holly after then the opposite in the next chunk.  Both groups were in the same place?  Did L-J-H just freeze when Jack Opal had their little argument, what did Holly say to them while the camera was on Jack?
This is something that bothers me about soaps.

I'll wait until you're done laughing before I point out how many things are wrong with this post.

We can start with the crappy spelling.  In addition to that is the horrible grammar.  Besides that, I don't have any idea what "berating the fact" means.  Was the fact misbehaving?  Did it need a time out?  And then First sixth?  Next sixth?  What the fuck is that?

Do I even have to go to the crux of this question?  She wanted to know why we miss out on parts of fictional characters conversations when they aren't on camera.  It's so ridiculously absurd that I wonder how this poor woman ever makes it through a day on her own.  She could clearly see them talking in the background.  What are they saying!?

But I'm nice, far too nice sometimes, and because she was so serious and so bothered by all this, I answered her in as nice a way as I possibly could.
What happens is, because the scenes take place at the same place, they are actually going on at the same time.  We cannot watch two scenes at the same time, so in essence they are frozen until we get back to them.  We don't miss anything, as "what is being said while the camera isn't on them," because since they aren't real, in real time, having a real conversation, the conversation waits for the camera to come back to the them so we can see everything that is being said.

The whole thing reminds me of this:


  1. I was laughing so hard during this whole post and then the clip that Steve was asking me what was going on...I told him I had a thing for Hans the evil twin...
    great post!

  2. I guess stupid doesn't have a shelf life!!! lol

  3. I loved rereading this again, and all the comments were great! I was laughing loudly right through it. Hard to believe our PBAUs have been around that long. (Loved seeing Thom's comment especially. Bittersweet.)

    Love your mind KC. :)

    1. And this was supposed to post to 6 ofucking clock cake post, and somehow ended up here. :)

      Can we have dinner first? Lol.