Maybe this should be my new theme song..

This Music Mayhem is Dedicated to L

When I was alone, on the street, nowhere to turn and full of despair, you were there.  You picked up the phone, brushed me off, dried my tears and listened with compassion.   I will never be able to thank you enough for being there when I needed it most.  Sending you much love....

I'm pulling through and it's because of you 

When I was stranded came your helping hand  

Lonely, hurt I had not known which way to turn 

'Til you said, "Try smiles, not tears, just laugh and learn" 

I'm pulling through and it's because of you 

You made me see how lovely life could be 

Lifted up my heart and made me count the cost 

To find I'd gained, not lost 

When I thought that hope was really gone 

You showed me I was wrong 

And you taught me how to carry on 

Thanks for the lift in time, and thanks for your song

I'm pulling through and it's because of you 

I'd do the same for you if your turn came 

Hope it never will for I've been through the mill 

I won't forget this debt, I'm pulling through 

When I thought that hope was really gone 

You showed me I was wrong 

And you taught me how to carry on 

Thanks for the lift in time, and thanks for your song 

I'm pulling through and it's because of you 

I'd do the same for you if your turn came 

Hope it never will for I've been through the mill 

I won't forget this debt, I'm pulling through

Ungrateful Heart

I go between anger (see previous post) and hurt.  And that mood changes at the drop of a hat.  But I'll be alright.  I know I will.  I always knew I would be OK, even when it felt like I'd never survive the heartbreak.  If I've learned nothing else about myself in the past few years, I've learned that you cannot keep me down for too long.

You may not be able to understand the words in Italian, but this is very clearly a song of pain.  It's beauty is heartbreaking.  It conveys a lot of what I feel to a core 'ngrato... ungrateful heart.

Maybe This is More Clear

If you read Dirty Laundry, no further explanation is needed.  I think this pretty much says it all.  And while it's not my usual genre of music, there is something so delicious about it.

And although there's pain in my chest

I still wish you the best with a...

Fuck you!

Three Strange Days

Welcome to another addition of Music Mayhem.   Around 1991ish, if I were a guessing gal, and I am, I went to Kent State University to see a band called School of Fish.  At the time they had a pretty popular college radio hit called Three Strange Days.  I always liked the song, might have had their cassette tape at one time or another, but haven't thought about them in many many years.   But as it so often happens, their song just popped into my head.  I wonder, when this happens is it because there is something in that song that relates to something I'm going through?   Is it just a memory?  Does it mean anything other than remembering a song I liked 20 years ago?

Hearing it again, I realize I still like it.  And maybe it does relate to my life somehow, right now, even abstractly.  

My mind was a blur
I did not know what to do
And I think I lost myself
When I lost my motivation

My mind is often a blur, about so many things.   My motivation goes out the door at the drop of a hat.  I could so easily go within myself and not come out.  But then, a song pops into my head and I have to find it, hear it.  And that leads to more and more and more.  I've said before that music (punk rock in particular) saved me.  And it continues to save me, every single day.

Self Explanatory

I don't need to explain why I chose this song for today's Way Out Wednesday post do I?

Yeah I didn't think so. =)

Way Out Wednesday

Somewhat inspired by my friend Lucy at LifeThruLucyLasticasLense and her fab feature Chooseday Choon, I give you a song feature on Wednesdays, just for the hell of it.  Because I love music and quite often I get a song in my head and shit, why not share it.  It might just be a video.  It might be a video and some commentary.  It might just be lyrics.  But I've decided music needs to be here more.  It's such a huge part of my life  So without further ado, my first Way Out Wednesday pick....

I would guess that my liking this song or band this would be a surprise to some.  But the truth is, I've always loved this song.  I saw 10,000 Maniacs in Cleveland back in the late 80's with about a grand total of 50 others or so.  It was before they gained any kind of popularity.  And it was great.  They were great.  Natalie Merchant was a ball of energy.  A whirling dervish that poured her heart and soul into every song.  This song is one that can move me to tears.  Sometimes I feel like I'm the one singing it (if I had a beautiful voice like Natalie's) because so often I find myself thinking it.  Different parts of it, at different times will be so dead on about something I'm thinking or feeling it's uncanny.  Like the song was written just for me.

Music is something deeply meaningful.  Music saves me when nothing else can.  Music can get to my heart, to my soul.  It can make me cry.  It can make me laugh.  It can lift my spirits and can take me away from the things that bring me down.  It can remind me of a person, a place or a thing.  It holds memories.  I don't ever want to live a day without music in it.